Inventions

Here's a list of things I plan to invent in order to winthe coveted, and somewhat imaginary, 'Things That Should Never Have Been Invented Due To Obvious Design Flaws And Occasional Bad Understanding Of The Laws Of Physics' award:

• The Solar Powered Torch: An amazing feat to produce perpetual light. Although the laws of physics say it is impossible, it could still work - simply charge it up with some natural sunlight and the zero-resistance of all the components (made of previously invented 'super-mega conductors') will illuminate the zero-resistance bulb. Once lit, a carefully arranged set of super-shiny mirrors will guide the light beam back to the solar panel to keep the torch charged. This means that not only do you no longer require batteries, but you will never run out of light again!
• The Underwater Ironing Board: Ever been so short for time that you couldn't decide between doing the ironing or going swimming? Well, now you can do both. Many local swimming pools have already signed-up to get one or more installed permanently to the floor of their pool. An ingenious and patented 'Bubble' (water-proof pouch) means that the garment you are ironing will stay dry. MaFt Enterprises accepts no responsibility for garments damaged by water & chlorine whilst transferring them through the pool into the pouch.
• The Ultimate Spam-Guard: A very easy one this, it blocks every incoming email.You can send emails but never receive them. Great for offending people without any comeback. Guaranteed to stop 100% of spam.

There maybe more tomorrow!

MaFt The Inventor