Lame Excuse?

One of the down-sides to working from home is the sever lack of blog material I encounter. Working at Leeds Uni was great as I used to commute via bus, train and foot every day. When I was at Nektar I had loads of time doing nothing (and getting paid for it) so blogging was easier. However, now I'm working at home I tend not to come across any peculiar folk that I can write about. Unless, that is, you're interested in the Jehovah's Witness who called round the other day; or the seemingly unendless cold callers telling me I'm entitled to a government grant for free cavity wall insulation - free if you're on benefits. Although I'm told they offer a 50% discount if you're not - hardly free though, is it? Twice they rang today! If you think that having regular phone calls asking if we sell the finest Indian spices is fun then let me know and I can blog about that for you too... I could tell you about Kia the cats smelly breath as she huddles up next to me on the couch, but it's hard to explain the smell with words - if you've ever done a dissection then I can tell you that her breath smells like the innards of a pig, actually, no, probably more like the innards of a chicken.

So, anyway, I'm babbling! Catch ya later!

MaFt

He's A Really Happy Man

Why does Postman Pat always wear his uniform? I know a guy who used to be a postman and outside of working hours he dressed like a normal person. What sort of impression does that give to children? Postman Pat is one big lie and it's about time something was done about it...


Postman Pat (in case you didn't know)

MaFt

Walk, Fly, Fly, Fly, Drive, Sleep

Yesterday was our last day at CeBIT and involved, as the blog entry title suggests, walking, flying, flying, flying and eventually sleeping. After our final bit of reporting in the morning we got our stuff and waited for our taxi to start us off on our trip back to the UK. It was only a short taxi ride though as instead of getting the 40 minute taxi to the airport we got the 10 minute taxi to the heliport where we got a helicopter transfer to the airport - much more fun! We then flew, by plane, from Hanover to London Stansted and then I flew back from London to Manchester.

Three flights in one day - I have a feeling I'm not going to beat that personal record for some time...

MaFt

Make Your Segway

Well, CeBIT is great so far. I've got a bit of spare time in the press office so after writing my reviews thought I'd show off by posting this picture of me on a Segway!



One thing that has annoyed me though is Google and Blogger picking up on the fact I have a German IP address and trying to be 'helpful' by making all the text German... Grr... Luckily I've used Blogger long enough to be able to guess what the links are for!

MaFt

You're So Vain You Think This Blog Is About You

Is it just mine or do everyone's MSN conversations take bizarre twists and turns within a short time? Yesterday I was talking to Bli and what started off fairly normal (a broken car) soon turned a bit weird (poo-powered terrorists)...

Note that the colours have been changed to protect the innocent and the poor spelling left intact to protect our status as retards:

Bli says:
my car blew up on the way back to work the other day
MaFt says:
nasty
Bli says:
lot of smoke n stuff .. head gasket blew
MaFt says:
scary. did it go bang?
Bli says:
it did
MaFt says:
cool
Bli says:
on a very busy main road
Bli says:
with lotsa cars trying to go round me without getting too close
MaFt says:
you must smell...
Bli says:
nah .. prolly thought i was a suicide bomber
MaFt says:
wrong colour.
MaFt says:
but you DO have a beard...
MaFt says:
anyway, how can you be a suicide bomber if youve not killed yourself?
Bli says:
damn foiled again
MaFt says:
surel you would just be a potenial sicide bomber? in which case we all have that potential
Bli says:
a failed suicide bommber .. used the wrong fertilsier
MaFt says:
yeah, you can't just use your own poo... muppet!
Bli says:
oh rrreeeeaaalllly...?

Right, that's it for now, I'm off to Germany,

See ya!

MaFt

MONKEY!

Monkey's are great, you can't beat 'em. So it was a great delight when I saw that PG Tips had stolen ITV Digital's advertising campaign of Johnny Vegas and Monkey to sell their bags of leaves.



The thing is, I only drink, on average, one cup of tea a month. I'm too lazy to put the kettle on, stick a tea bag in a cup, stir it, add milk etc etc. Then, when I do bother I nearly always forget and by the time I've remembered the kettle's gone cold again... A glass of water is much less work!

In order to get my free monkey I had to buy a box of 160 tea bags - remember: 1 tea bag per month. To get my 'free' monkey I have had to buy 13 years and 4 months worth of tea bags... Hardly 'free' is it?!

MaFt

Black & Blue

I got bored the other day and made a new image for my desktop:



It's Mini-MaFt with his 'haton'

MaFt

Brushes

A brush is a brush. It serves a very simple purpose: to brush things. And as such they were created as very simple, inelegant and pretty boring organisms. Take, for example a sweeping brush; It has a long pole with bristles on the end. The hair brush has a small handle with bristles on the end. The brush from a dust-pan and brush is a mid-point between these two - it has a medium sized handle with bristles on the end. Generally, the brush species each share the common traits of a handle with bristles on the end. Like I stated earlier, they are simple, boring creatures. They usually live hidden out of sight...

Why then do we put so much emphasis on the bog-brush? Why can't we just let them be a natural species? Why do we need to genetically modify them to produce fancy looking things? Take these examples:



Considering this species of brush is generally used for swishing around in wee and poo infested toilets, you'd think they'd be bred to be a bit plainer like the other brushes...

MaFt