It Begins

Well, Steve-The-Builder made a start. He pulled up all the old bits of flooring (and after all my hard work!) and cut a hole in the roof to bring in a 17 foot long piece of timber for the new floor. Along with that and a bunch of other bits of timber he's pretty much built a new frame for the new floor to sit on - the new level floor that doesn't slope down 5 inches across 10 feet!

The royal family came around again the other day and King Bli made use of my scanner (his being from 1825 and encorporating ye olde scsieee thus meaning it couldn't be used on his fancy little shuttle system). He was scanning in some pencil drawings (him being an artist and all that) which looked pretty impressive, I may upload one or two small versions of them, particularly the dragon/dinosaur thingy one... I'll get permission first though (either cos I'm nice, or stupid).

Mini-MaFt's in his own bedroom now, this is ace cos it means he now manages to sleep through from about 9pm until 7am - no more tired MaFt & Mrs-MaFt! Huzzah!

Ta-ra for now

MaFt

Delays Already!

In true builder-style, Steve-The-Builder has delayed starting out attic by one day. It could have been worse though - he could have come early! I didn't manage to clear everything out of the attic last night... According to Steve-The-Builder he'll be sorting out the Velux window as his first job.

We'll see how it goes! Nothing much else to report I'm afraid!

MaFt

Final Preperations

Well, tomorrow is Day 1 of 'The Great Attic Conversion'. Well, not really a conversion, it's still going to be an attic, just a nicely re-floored and boarded out attic in which we can keep things that won't fall through the ceiling into the bed. I still have a few bits to remove before Steve The Builder makes a start - namely the drawers, shelves, spare roll of carpet, spare laminate flooring, the dartboard/backboard, the chair and a bunch of other odd little bits. Tonight will be quite busy...

I'm hungry now so I'm off for some food. Then we get champagne and nibbles this afternoon - this was cool to hear this morning as I thought it was Friday and not today! Depending how generous they are I may be pushing my bike home tonight!

MaFt

PS - be kind to the cats

Dedication Weekend

Friday: Jim arrived and we went to see The Chucky NoSTARS and Fineapple at Rio's. A reasonable number of pints were drunk and had a great night. Oh, and Jim spilled his pint on the merch desk... doh!

Saturday: Did some shopping with Mrs-MaFt, mini-MaFt and Jim. Forget to get my watch strap fixed which had snapped a few days before (I'm currently using my posh 'going out' watch - just don't want to knacker it!). Dave The Nut arrived early evening and we stayed in listening to music, watching The Toy Dolls live DVD and chilling out with some beers. Oh, and Jim spilled his beer on the table/floor... doh!

Sunday: 00:03 I picked up Mr & Mrs Shoetree from Bradford interchange and droppped them off at my mum and dad's seeing as our house was full!

Sunday: In the real morning, we got ready after bacon butties for breakfast and put mini-MaFt in his Dedication outfit (it was actually a Christening outfit but no one knew the difference ;) ). Had the dedication service, the church was packed (about 80 or 90 extra people in there!) then went to the pub for food and drinks. All my mates finally went home and we got to oopen lots of presents on behalf of mini-MaFt. My personal favourite was the signed drum head from The Toy Dolls :)

Well, that was my weekend, how was yours?

MaFt

PS - sorry it's a bit rushed but we've got some psycho dentists drilling into the roof at work for some stupid reason. It's stupidly loud and really annoying! I'm outta here for some toast.

Wahey!

We (Nektar) got recommended: Inhaler may replace insulin shots

MaFt

You Pay Peanuts, You Get Monkeys

I wish I was a monkey.

Bag of Peanuts = 50p. A monkey could easily get through a bag of peanuts in under a minute, let's say 50 seconds for the sake of argument. So that's 72 bags of peanuts per hour or cash equivalent - £36 an hour. I wouldn't say no to that.

I wish I was a monkey.

And, in other news, everyone here at work is eagerly awaiting the results of an advisory committee for the FDA with regards to the release of Exubera - the world's first inhalable insulin. Fingers crossed - let's hope they give it a "yes". Even then though, the FDA would have to formally approve it for sale.


Monkey? I can only wish...

MaFt

The Last Sweet

Don't you just love it when you screw up an empty bag of sweets and then realise there's actually one more cola bottle in there? Bliss!

MaFt

Helpful Heroin (H)addicts

I never though I'd say this but I'm happy that prices for drugs have gone down to as little as 50p for ecstasy and £5 for a party pack of crack and heroin (see here).

Why am I happy? well, with drugs that cheap they won't need to break into as many houses or cars to fuel their habit. If all drugs were two-for-one then we would halve crime in Britain. I should be an MP, do ya think?

MaFt

Sorry...

OK, so apologies for not being here for quite a few days! I've been redesigning Mini-MaFt's website which took longer than I thought it would.

We got one of them-there GPS Sat Nav thingy's for the car - what a great invention! Now I can't get lost so long as I know before-hand where I'm going to. And even if I don't know where I'm going it'll tell me where I am. What made it handier was when I added the locations of 7129 speed cameras and traffic light cameras to it from a site I found called Pocket GPS World.

That's about it really, got a music practice tonight to go through the songs for the service for Mini-MaFt's dedication next Sunday and that's all for now!

You shall no doubt be hearing about my GPS escapades some time in the future, but for now you'll have to make do with the mundane things of my day-to-day life...

MaFt

Banjo Boxer

We got one of them George Formby grills yesterday. It's great, you put your chicken in and it sings "When I'm Cleaning Windows" while it cooks. Shame it only has that one song cos I can see it getting annoying after a while. However, it does have a USB port so I can connect it up and put some new music on it. Maybe a spot of "Happy Go Lucky Me" will be less annoying after a while? It's sure as hell better than those George Foreman ones. I mean, who wants to be punched in the face while you're cooking your steaks?


The George Formbyman Grill

MaFt

Monacle Request

I just sent this out this morning to 'All Users' at work:

"Hi everyone, this may sound like an odd request but I’m doing a murder mystery thingy-ma-bob this Saturday and my character is Otto von Pinklewurst – a Gestapo agent. As such, to get into character, I’m in need of a long black trenchcoat and a monacle. I may be able to get the coat, but if anyone has a monacle I can borrow then it’d be appreciated ;)

Cheers, and apologies for the weird email…

Matthew"

So far I have been offered a fully working replica Beretta 9mm automatic pistol but no monacle. I've also been told that it was the strangest email request anyone has ever sent out. Two good ideas (well, one idea but from 2 different people) was to use some old glasses and cut them up to make a monacle. Sounds like a good idea to me - especially as I have an old pair in my drawer at work.

MaFt

I Am Otto von Pinklewurst

"I am Otto von Pinklewurst. I am an officer of the Gestapo, fanatical and quite possibly mad. I don't understand why I'm here in Africa instead of in a posenior staff post in Berlin."

Just had an invite to a murder mystery night in which my character is Otto von Pinklewurst. My suggested clothing is a long black leather trenchcoat, boots and a monacle.

Having never done one of these things before I'm a bit apprehensive. The last time I dressed up in fancy dress was as Spiderman with brother-A as Superman:




















I'll let you know how the hunt for an outfit goes and how the evening as a whole goes!

MaFt

Updates and Upgrades

Well, it's been a fair few days since I posted anything... Had a nice long weekend off from work (off from Thursday, came back today) for no particular reason other than I could. Well, it was our wedding anniversary Thursday but we just went for some food in the evening.

The extra few days meant that I had time to finish the fireplace tiling as well as start emptying the attic and dumping it at Mum & Dad's! This is going to be a huge job - not only emptying it but getting all the building work done. The worrying part is that the point of no return is the first part of the project! As soon as the hole is knocked through the landing wall to make space for the new stairs then we can't really change our minds... All will be well though!

It turns out, too, that my interwebnet hosting package has been upgraded at no extra cost. Thanks to Blackfoot Hosting I now get 500MB space and 10GB bandwidth (used to be 200MB and 5GB respectively). This doesn't really effect any of you but it just means I have extra space for hosting photo's for Mini-MaFt's site as well as more mp3's of my music (when I get some done!)

Ta-ra for now

MaFt

Phase 3

Just needs 2 bits at the bottom and the grouting doing :) Huzzah! I am a master tiler.

MaFt

Guess The Google

Having no access to my email at work today has resulting in me finding this: Guess-The-Google.

This is a great time-wasting game where it shows you 20 images and you have to try and guess the google search term that gave those images before the time runs out. It's not that easy, I managed to get 123 points on my first attempt - there are 10 rounds in total. One day I'll reach the leaderboard :)

MaFt

Phase 2 Complete

Phase 2 of the tiling has been completed but I forgot to take the photo off the camera so you can't see it yet! All that's left now is to tile the very bottom/front of the fireplace and then do the grouting. Should be done by the weekend!

Annoyingly I can't log into my webmail today for some unknown reason... this sucks, as it means I don't have any easy time-killing options while I'm at work.

MaFt

Work Time

Finally got around to starting tiling the fireplace:














The cream ones are the new tiles and the green ones are the old ones. Not bad for my first attempt :)

MaFt

You're A Winner!

Yesterday I got an email from "Mark" with the subject header "You're A Winner!". Needless to say I was rather skeptical and a bit annoyed that it had got through the usually very good junk mail filter in Thunderbird. For some unknown reason I decided to read what I had 'won'. My skepticism turned out to be unfounded as it turned out to be an email from Mark at Punktastic ("it's punk, it's fantastic, you work it out") informing me that I'd won a copy of the new My Awesome Compilation CD. Pretty chuffed actually, as it was one CD that was on my list to buy sometime soon. I enter pretty much every competition on Punktastic (well, they're free and all you do is click a button - there are no questions) and this is the first time I've got something. It was a nice surprise seeing as I haven't won anything since I got a frisbee at Haven Holidays in 1989...

Mine, All Mine!

MaFt

Home Improvements

I'm knackered, aching and my hands are cut to shreds! Over the weekend, with the assistance of Mr-T for some parts, I have:

• Cut some tiles and my fingers to put around the fireplace (the tiles that is, I'm not planning on some sick phalangeal fire-surround)
  
• Got wiring in place for some amendments to the burglar alarm and took a chunk out of my finger in the process
  
• Chiseled out some mains cable in the lounge-wall where I drilled through in a previous episode (this is now ready to re-wire it and plaster over etc)
  
• Made the final(ish) arrangements with the builder regarding getting the attic converted into a nice room with a window and some stairs

So there you have it, my hands are sore and aching now!

Hope you all enjoyed your weekends as much as I did...!

MaFt

I Smelled A Scam Earlier, Now It Smells Stronger!

Got an email this morning seemingly from Bid Pay regarding payment for my phone to send to the 'Prophet' in Nigeria. However, it was riddles with spelling and grammar mistakes and included the dead-giveaway line:

"some of our custmers are not sending items straight away even though they have been paid for. We have receved the payment from your buyer so you must send the item now pls. Then when you give us the tracking number we will release your official Western Union postal order"

Yeah right! Regardless of what I did I've lost a bit of money in listing fees cos the prat bought it as 'Buy It Now' I couldn't even cancel his bid. So, anyway, I've relisted th eitem with a small disclaimer at the top; check it out here.

Well, other than that, I managed to get a 'Listening To' thing on the blog. It's an edited version of Currently Hearing that I've set up to work with Media Monkey (I got fed up with MusicMatch <-- see, it doesn't even get a link!). It only works when I've got Media Monkey open though, so if it says 'Nothing' then it's safe to say that I'm not listening to any music at home - I'll probably have my MP3 player on at work though ;)

So, if you really want to know, I'm currently hearing "Relient K - Which To Bury; Us or The Hatchet?"

See ya

MaFt

Fools on Ebay

I've just sold my old phone on ebay and put, quite clearly, in the listing that I would only ship to the UK or Europe. SO, I get an email this morning saying that the fella who bought it, although he has a UK email address, is currently in Malaysia and would like the phone "sent as a surprise birthday gift to (his) Prophet in Nigeria". What the hell?! His Prophet in Nigeria? Last time I checked Nigeria wasn't in Europe...

Anyway, I thought I'd milk it rather than have to relist the phone. I emailed the guy back and gave him 4 statements he had to agree with before I would accept his payment these were:

1) I will not be held responsible for any customs charges that his Prophet may incur
2) I will not be held responsible if the phone is not compatible with the Nigerian phone network
3) I will not be held responsible if the phone charger is not compatible with the Nigerian electrical system
4) I will not be held resposnsible if the phone gets damaged on it's (rather long) journey to Nigeria

Oh yeah, I also told him that it'd cost him thirty quids for delivery :) May as well make some money from it! I'm yet to hear from him though...

MaFt

Too Much Chicken Takes It's Toll

Last night we went to Burger King and got Chicken Royales. Three lots of chicken in as many meals, good job I'm not addicted. However, if I am what I eat then clearly I've been a chicken lately. This afternoon I was a ham salad sandwhich with no tomato but lots of salad cream and a pork pie. Tomorrow? Who knows!

Anyway, after all this chicken my stomach's a bit off. It's hard to pin point it though, I mean, look what I've had: home made barbeque chicken (potential for food poisoning), chicken chana curry (potential to be anything) and fast food chicken (again, could actually be anything). So, I'm just going to have to blame the chickens. Poultry: be warned, give me the squirts again and I'll be forced to kill you. But if I kill you, I'll have to eat you, which may not be such a good idea... Dammit, you always win.


Chicken: evil little blighters, they are.

MaFt

Mmm... More Chicken

I like my job. Especially when the boss's boss takes the team out for a curry at dinner. I had a Chicken Chana, which was gorgeous. I'm full now, so don't feel like doing any work... Although, because he paid for my food I feel I should work harder. Life's full of difficult choices. However, this isn't one - the obvious choice is to not do much work this afternoon :)

MaFt

Mmm... Chicken

We've had Captain P's gas powered barbeque since last Friday and last night we decided to make one final use of it before he collects it. So, at 10:15 last night I was stood outside cooking skewered chicken in the dark! If any dog-walkers gave me any funny looks I wasn't too bothered 1) because the chicken was lovely, and 2) because I wouldn't have been able to see them.

There's something to be said for having an impromptu barbeque in the dark.

MaFt

Integration

Scrap Multiculturalism

Being from Bradford I think this is a fantastic idea. If people from other countries are allowed to live here then they should be grateful of the fact and integrate with the communities they live in instead of creating a 'pakistani area' or a 'polish area' or a 'ukranian area' of a city. Like the report says, if people live together as an integrated community then there'd be less chance of anger between cultural groups simply because these groups wouldn't exist.

I think if a bunch of English people moved to Mongolia and stayed in their own group then the locals would be a bit annoyed that they weren't integrating. So, why do we let it happen here in England? And why does it get seen as racist to make such comments? Yes, there traditional values are important to them but if they're living in another country then that's not very traditional is it? So why not update their traditions to include being a part of English society and not keep defining themselves as a minority group?

That's all for now!

MaFt

A Few Photo's From Paris

Alcohol n Chocolates

This is what we got sent: Clicky Here

Not bad is it? £41.36 and we only paid £20 for Mini-MaFt to come on holiday so we're £21.36 up.

In other news, I still haven't written about Disneyland Paris, Mr R (the dutchman) has arrived in the country and I can now text him (for some reason when he's in holland I can't text him even though I'm using the same number [and yes, I do have the country code +31]), my new phone is a bit funky but I now have the boring task of transferring all the numbers from my old phone...

I'm hungry, I'm off for some lunch. Tonight I'm off to see The Chucky NoSTARS and Waving At Strangers at Rio's with Mr R and his girlfriend.

MaFt

Waste of Time

I've just wasted 30 minutes of my life doing one of those Su Doku puzzle things. They were left on a table in the tea room so I thought I'd have a go. It was strangely addictive. Maybe one day soon I'll be able to move up a level from 'easy' :)

MaFt

Response!

Got a letter yesterday from the holiday company about the lack of cot for Mini-MaFt in Paris. They were very apologetic and assured us that they did contact the hotel on June 8th but the person who contacted them has since left the company (how appropriate) so they can't find out exactly what happened with it. As a good will gesture they are sending some champagne and truffles and hope that this incident will not put us off from using their services in the future.

See, it pays to complain! I've got a letter on the way to Walkers too cos some multipack bags were stuck together. No doubt they'll just send us vouchers and not free alcohol and chocolates though...

My new phone should arrive today as well as the champagne and truffles - so today will be a good day for deliveries! Oh, and I haven't forgotten about writing about Disney Land Paris, I'll do it later.


Champagne and Truffles courtesy of bargainholidays.com

MaFt

Google Paris

The image above (clicky for biggy) shows the location of where we stayed compared to the Moulin Rouge.

If you have Google Earth you can use this link to find it quickly. The Moulin Rouge is to the right (if you turn on Keyhole Community BBS layers it'll show up) and the tower etc is south from here.

MaFt

Le Paris Diary: Day 2

Day 2: Mardi (Tuesday, you simpleton)

Tuesday we went for breakfast (or more precisely a cold croissant and a stick of bread) then went to the local supermarket to buy some 'Pain au Chocolat' which are gorgeous, especially when they're still warm. We then went shopping round the centre of Paris after a very long walk (well, about an hour but that was calling into shops too). We hit a good time, as nearly every shop had a sale on with 'up to 70% off'. It's not like our english sales where there's one thing that has 70% off and the rest have about 1.3% off, nearly every item was 70% off, with only a few with 50% off. Needless to say Mrs-MaFt bought a bunch of clothes (including a jacket from C&A of all places) and I got erm, nothing... At least I don't think I bought anything.

We got down to the Place de la Concorde which was severely lacking in planes but you could see the Eiffel Tower and the Arc de Triomphe. So then we went back to some more shops then headed back to the hotel.

After getting changed and putting Mini-MaFt in his ruck-sack thing (great inventions those things) we walked back to the centre to get some food then found a fair ground. This was pretty cool as it had a massive big wheel that was all lit up (it was about 10pm by this time). We all went on the big wheel and you could see right over the Seine and the tower was all flashy too. After some fun at the fair we decided to get a taxi to the tower - bloody glad we did cos it took about 15 minutes in car so it'd have taken a fair while by foot!

When we got to the tower it looked amazing! It was all it up and it was soooo huge! People say that it's just like Blackpool Tower - I have to disagree - it's far bigger and better (even though it is French). The top level closes at 10pm, and seeing as it was 11.30pm we paid the reasonable €7 (about £5) for the lift to the 2nd floor. This was still pretty high and I'm not a big fan of heights... However, the view was amazing and I got some nice photo's of Paris by night and the Seine by using the slow shutter speed on the camera.

We got back to the hotel around midnight and collapsed into bed after getting Mini-MaFt out his bag.

I'll tell you about Disney tomorrow - I'll also try remember to get some photo's sorted to put up.

MaFt

Le Paris Diary: Day 1

OK, so I promised I'd tell you more about le Paris. So, here goes!

Monday morning we were up at 3am and set off to arrive at Leeds Bradford Airport for 4.45am. We were up anyway with Mini-MaFt but it was still far too early. We parked the car up at Sentinel and got to the airport. We had a bit of time to kill before we could check in so we stood still looking like muppets for 20 or so minutes. Check-in took ages due to Mini-MaFt being added at a later date but we finally got away and got onto the plane. Obviously I'm shortening this somewhat!

The plane was a scary invention! I can't remember the make/model etc. but it wasn't even as wide as a bus and only held 49 people (including crew). Well, it had only cost us £50 each return with BMI. Mini-MaFt was fine on the plane, he slept though most of it and his ears didn't seem to give him too much trouble.

After landing, luggage-collecting and taxi-ing we got to the hotel at about 11am only to find we couldn't check-in until 2.30pm. We also got told that they hadn't been told about Mini-MaFt so there was no cot available. Ah... panic time! Neither of us were particularly keen about having Mini-MaFt in bed with us for fear of squashing him, but it was the only option (nasty email has been sent to the holiday company [bargainholidays.com] for not informing the hotel) and resulted in fairly sleepless nights. Anyway, we left our luggage in a cupboard and had a wander around the area we were staying (region 17 of Paris I think it was). We wandered up the road and had McDonalds :) Then going further afield I saw a big red windmill and though 'Ooh, that's like the Moulin Rouge' then we got closer and realised it was the Moulin Rouge - which was cool! There were lots of porn shops too. I'll put a photo up but I've not copied the photo's from the camera yet...

We stopped off at a pub for a quick couple of drinks before going back to the hotel, checking in, going up the teeny-tiny lift and entering room 202. It was alright, a bit dark and warm with no tea or coffee making facillities but it only cost about £35 a night for bed and breakfast.

That night we went out for a meal (bad steak with lots of gristly bits) and a few drinks. Then we went to bed and worried about squashing Mini-MaFt in our sleep. It was bloody hot too. We hardly slept...

MaFt

Connected

Just had an email from my brother telling me: http://www.connectionrestaurant.com

Cheers :)

MaFt

Too Many Emails!

Back at work today, and the first thing I had to do was spend forty minutes going through 54 emails that had amassed while I was in Paris. Not the most interesting way to start the day ("Nescafe, Nescafe, the better way to start the day" - according to the old advert). Oh for a cup of coffee but I haven't paid this months coffee club money and we've no milk at home (except for Cow and Gate hungrier baby milk).

Well, I also have a training course this afternoon entitled "Leading People In Teams". That'll be fun!

Tonight me, Mrs-MaFt and Mini-MaFt are off out for a meal - think we're going to The Connection which is one of our favourite eateries due to it's good prices and consistently high quality food. It also seems to be a WiFi hotspot (I just discovered this while Googling for their website [which I failed to find]).

Anyway, back to work!

MaFt

We're Back! (Nous Sommes Arrive Sur La Maison)

...and I bet you never knew I was gone? Just spent four days in Paris shopping and Disney-ing - it was ace! I'll tell you more over the next few days along with a few photo's. But for now we have a tonne of washing to do and someone's coming round in five minutes and I'm still in my boxer shorts...

Gotta dash!

MaFt

A New Blog For Mini-MaFt

Apologies for not posting very much, but I've been setting up a new blog for Mini-MaFt chronicling his early days, months and years. It's taken a bit longer than the average Blog set-up due to the fact that I've been setting up a password system with my web host so I can keep track of who has access to the site. The last thing I want is for a load of paedo's to be perving over my son!

Anyway, check it out at http://www.oscarjake.co.uk and remember, if you know me then you can have access :)

MaFt

On Yer Bike!

It would appear from my last couple of posts that my blog has turned into one of those dull, unintersting ones that just links to other pages/blogs/sites without really adding anything of interest... Sorry 'bout that.

I'm back on my bike again to get to work. Hopefully I'll be able to lose the two inches I've gained around my waist in the six weeks that I've had the car for commuting. It had better do some good cos I've only recently bought a bunch of new clothes to fit my stunning 32inch, 11stone figure and I wouldn't want them to go to waist! Although the pocket has started falling off my CAT pants (too many police coppers in my wallet!).

One day I'll be fit and healthy. Really? Well, maybe fitter and healthier - it's surprising how much two letters can change the context of a word!

See ya!

MaFt

Yet More Light-Heartedness

iPod Flea

Aren't parodies great? Especially when they're as well done as this one :)

MaFt

Some Light Relief (Bum Eyes!)

After the events of yesterday I thought I'd provide some light relief...

http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/lurgie.htm

This has to be the strangest episode of Weebl and Bob, ever!

MaFt

London Again

Two people reported dead now. Feel sorry for their family and friends.

MaFt

[edit: at least 50 dead... it's shot up over night. MaFt - july 8th]

Scary / Unsettling

Just been hearing / reading about the various suspected terrorist activities in London (a bus and couple of trains so far). Kind of makes you realise that we're not invincible and that, as a country, we're still a target. Maybe it doesn't help that all our security is currently watching Scotland for the G8 summit and that London was pretty much 'left open'.

Either way, it doesn't seem right that there's been bombs in England, in my country. Things like that don't happen here, they happen far away... Or so we thought.

MaFt

Profits!

Sorry for not posting for a few days... No excuse really, other than I've not had chance.

Mini-MaFt now weighs over £9! When he popped out (rather he was yanked out via Caesarean section, but let's not be picky) he was £7.07. A profit of £2 in a month! That's 50p per week or a rise of 28% per month! At that rate he'll be a whopping £11.58 by the end of July and £14.82 by the end of August. Then, we can sell him and buy two more at £7 each, pocket some change and rake in the profits from the two new Mini-MaFt's (Mini-MaFt-II andMini-MaFt-III). Two months after that we can profit more change and have four new Mini-MaFt's (IV, V, VI,VII). We'll be loaded!

Whoever said babies cost money was very wrong.

MaFt

Finally!

It's 4.24am and I'm up with Mini-MaFt. Have finally watched the last Doctor Who. And, you know what? It was fantastic!

MaFt

Lotsa Visiting

Yay, things are getting busy in the MaFt household! A few phone calls these last couple of days have resulted in DTN coming to visit and Mr R from Holland coming over too. Should be good! A nice excuse to pass Mini-MaFt onto someone else for a few days! Erm, I mean, a nice excuse for Mini-MaFt to meet some new people...

MaFt

Eye Smell Nice

While getting ready for a quick pint at the pub last night I decided to use some of my lovely after shave so I would smell nice for 5 minutes before being cloaked in a covering of alcohol and smoke. All was going well - I got the lid off, I pointed it at my neck and i pressed the top down. Then I cried. Just from one eye, my right eye to be exact. I forgot to check which way it was pointing and i sprayed into my eye instead of onto my neck. I'll tell ya, it didn't half sting! I'll pay more attention next time, but surely these things should come with a big warning sign on them...

Coulda done with an eye wash...

MaFt

Toxic Toiletries

T'interwebnet's working again.

http://www.health-report.co.uk/toxic_toiletries.html

This stuff makes me laugh!

Take the following from the 1st page:

"The purpose of this website is not to alarm you" - well, it looks quite alarming to me.
"Most of the chemicals which go into our toiletries are no different from the harsh toxic chemicals used in industry" - true, but surely the amount and/or concentration plays a vital part in all that. Surely 5mg of 1% concentration 'nasty chemical' is a lot less harmful than 5kg of 95% concentration 'nasty chemical'. I wonder if this website has heard of MEL's (Maximum Exposure Limits)? Even flour has an MEL
"Propylene glycol (PG) is a wetting agent and solvent used in make up, hair care products, deodorants, after shave and is often found in toothpaste. It's also the main ingredient in antifreeze and brake fluid" - again, it all has to do with how much and at what concentration. Water is one of the main ingredients of most nasty solutions that can kill people; shall we outlaw water?
"Safety warning labels advise users to wear protective clothing, face mask and gloves. If spilt on the skin to wash off with copious quantities of water and to seek medical advice! Accidental spillage on skin may cause irreversible health effects! If swallowed induce vomiting and seek immediate medical help!" - it also says this in the MSDS (Material Safety Data Sheet) for water...

The site then goes on to warn us that Aftershave contains alcohol. Wow, I always wondered how they managed to get aftershave to evaporate once you'd put it on your skin, I always thought it was Black Magic.

This site really wound me up! Talk about going over the top. If something is hazardous it doesn't mean it's not safe. Alcohol is dangerous, but when it's in a drink it's in such low concentrations that it's safe (if it's used correctly). Just like soap - don't eat it cos it's not safe to eat it. Nasty chemicals, in the right concentration and used in the right way do not pose a risk.

Sorry, rant over! I don't even remember how I found this bloody site...

MaFt

Just What I Need

Grr, t’interwebnet is down at work so I’ve decided to email this post. It just means that I’ll have to put up with a strange layout when it goes onto the blog. I can change this once I can get online again though. The obvious benefit is that Microsoft Outlook has a good spell-chequer.

I got another episode of Doctor Who watched this morning so I now only have two more to catch up on! The I have 8 CD-R’s worth of FireFly that Bli provided me with ages ago and about 5 other films in my queue… If Mini-MaFt keeps getting up early I may just get them all watched! I’ve had ‘Underworld’ from my brother for about 15 months now and haven’t even watched all of that yet…

So, that aside, back to the subject. I need a dump.

See ya

MaFt

Quit The Day Job

Forgot to mention, the Chucky NoSTARS debut CD is now available from www.chuckynostars.com - 10 tracks for about £9 i think it was. Mine arrived yesterday and I have to say I'm pretty impressed with it so far! Check out some tracks at their PureVolume site if you fancy a bit of dance-punk.

Later

MaFt

Tiredness

Well, whoever told me bringing up a baby was easy deserves a slap. Actually, I don't think anyone did, but I need to find someone to blame!

Mini-MaFt has colic at the moment which is quite painful for him and us... Yesterday I was up at about 4.30am with him so Mrs MaFt could get a bit of sleep. It had it's upside though, I got to catch up on Doctor Who - I now only have 3 more episodes to watch... However, I was knackered by about 3pm...

Last night he wasn't so bad, but he was restless cos of the warmth - stupid summer weather! Anyway, we're off out shopping in the sales tonight so Mrs MaFt can get out of the house. SHe'll be allowed to drive again in a couple of weeks so that'll be better for her. No for me though, I'll have to get me bike out for work again!

MaFt

Whiteley or Wongley

Sad to here the great Yorkshire hero Mr Richard Whiteley has just died. Afternoon TV will never be the same again. Poor Miss Vorderman, what's she gonna do now?!

Full story here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/tv_and_radio/4625347.stm


Mr Whiteley, The Great Yorkshire Ambassador

MaFt

New Songs

Greetings :) Just a quicky to let you know there's some new songs on the main site. Head over to http://maft.co.uk then go to multimedia, then audio then have a look under Maft/Demo's.

Enjoy! All feedback welcome

MaFt

Owwww, The Irony!

1) Traffic jams when you're already late
2) A 'no smoking' sign on your cigarette break

These are NOT ironic - even if the song IS called 'Ironic'. Silly cow. The only way those two examples would be a good use of irony would be if

1) You were a town roads planner and you were stuck in a traffic jam when you were already late going to a meeting where you were talking about what good improvements you'd made to cut traffic jams

2) If you worked in the smokiest bar/club in the world and then when you went for your cigarette break and there suddenly appeared a 'no smoking' sign

And I'm not even sure if number 2 would even be classed as irony!

Anyway, to my point. The perfect example of irony is this:

I work for a fairly large pharmaceuticals company and, all morning, have been nursing the mother of all headaches... Owwwww, the irony! Owwww, my head!

MaFt

Hot Hot Heat (Not the Band)

Wow, it's like I've not been here for ages!

Saturday, the three of us went to Leeds for some shopping etc. When we came off the ring-road near the Yorkshire Post we got stuck in a shortish queue and we could see a bit of smoke/steam. Great, a car had broken down due to overheating (it was pretty warm over the weekend if you hadn't noticed). As we were about to pass it we saw some small flames and started to panic a bit! Thankfully we were past it pretty quick cos about 10 seconds later the whole car was up in flames. Poor buggers, it was a fairly new car too!

After getting sun-burnt a bit in Leeds, we headed back along the M62 to get home. Stupid idea. I hadn't realised that they knocked it down to one lane for about 100m so of course the tailbacks were horrendous! However, we were lightly entertained by the huge numbers of cars in the hard shoulder that had overheated! In total we counted 21 cars and at least four AA vans!

Yesterday it pissed it down in the afternoon, which was nice. Seriously, it WAS nice, it cooled me down a bit. It was also my first Father's day as a Dad. Mini-MaFt bought me all-sorts of bits, he even wrote his own card (although I think Mrs-MaFt may have helped him as it looked quite a lot like her writing..)

MaFt

An Early One

Do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything else all at once? I am one of those melodramatic fools, neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it! Sometimes I give myself the creeps, sometimes my mind plays tricks on me. It all keeps adding up, I think I'm cracking up! Am I just paranoid? Or am I just stealing someone elses lyrics?

MaFt

.04 Makes A Big Difference

Last night I tried using a free program made by Boss that converts wave files into a format that I can use with my Boss BR-8 8-Track Recorder. Surprisingly it's called the 'Boss BR-8 Wave Converter' - clever, aren't they?

Well, the version on the Boss site is version 1.00. However, this didn't seem to work... I kept getting the error 'Cannot Write File' (something like that anyway) after it had converted the wave file. This was really peeing me off, so after quite a bit of Googling I found version 1.04 from one of the foreign Boss sites and this seemed to work. 'Huzzah' I announced in victory.

This now means I can transfer my drum tracks directly to the recorder and also stick any other samples I fancy into my songs much easier. Still, it's weird that there is no other reference at all to this updated version on the main Boss sites.

Oh well, I'm off for lunch now! Just thought I'd share all this with you and if anyone wants the version 1.04 then let me know and I'll email you it as no doubt someone will find this post in their hunt for Boss BR-8/BR8 wave convertor/converter software :)

MaFt

This Sucks

Hello, 'tis I. Sorry for not posting very much... Well, Mini-MaFt is doing great and eating loads and pooing a constant supply of chicken korma. Both me and Mrs MaFt arepretty tired, but I guess that'll improve in about 18 years! Well, you can get rid of them at 16 now, can't you?! Lol!

So, anyway, I guess a lot of you would have heard about the girl who was found in Bradford the other day? It's bad enough that it happened to a 15 year old girl, even worse that it was apparently carried out by a bunch of teenagers of a similar age. It hitme quite hard cos my neice was friends with her, so obviously she wasn't too good when she got sent home from school. The girl who was found dead (the cause is as yet unknown, so I won't say murdered) was a pupil at the school where my mum works too. It sucks and I feel really sorry for the family, especially when the spot she was found is clearly visible from their house - along with the hordes of reporters too. My mum said that Sky News tried going to the school to interview her friends; I mean, how insensitive is that? Hopefully justice will be done. We'll have to wait and see.

Anyway, I'm getting myself down now, I need something happy to do :)

MaFt

Info

Right, well, that last post wasn't very informative, so here's a bit more!

Mini-MaFt was born at 00:48 on Sunday morning just gone after a gruelling time in hospital since Friday afternoon. He weighed in at 7lb 7 (about 3.37kg [according to my phone's unit convertor]) which is about 22cm of decent size middle bacon.

Bacon? Well, my only frame-of-reference for pounds and ounces is from when i worked at the deli in the co-op and a pound of decent sized middle bacon was about 3cm deep. So, Mini-MaFt is the equivalent of 22cm of bacon. Yum :) That's making me hungry now...

Ah, balls to posting a blog entry I'm off for some food! See ya!



MaFt

BABY

Tired. Mini-MaFt is ace. Midwives and surgeons are bloody great too. Tired.

Photo's andmoreposts soon.

MaFt

Bit More Serious

Ooh, a life changing, incredibly deep, serious post... I'm gonna be a dad soon. It's just hit me after getting a call from Mrs MaFt telling me the time the hospital are taking her in to start things off. A dad, me... scary.

It'll be reet, babies are easy; well, they are when you can hand them back to their owners - damn, that'll be us... hmm... 'Dad' doesn't quite sound right, I'm still MaFt and always will be.

We're calling him Mini-MaFt.

See ya

MaFt

Royal Moaners

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/4598091.stm

If you can't be bothered reading it then here it is in brief. Royal Mail have been told that they're not aloud to increase the cost of a 1st class stamp to any more than 34p by 2010. They're currently 30p so that's more than a 10% price increase - which to me is pretty damn big!

Royal Mail are whinging that if this ruling goes ahead that it will severely affect the service they provide. I mean, how hard is it to put a letter in a box? Each letter has a description of exactly where it needs to go so they don't really need to think that hard...

My proposal is as follows: stop wasting my money from stamps employing people like these chatter-boxes in the picture below (who are clearly not working) and employ someone who does the job quickly and effectively. That way they won't need to increase costs at all.


Less Chatter-box, more mail-box

MaFt

System Restore Saved My Machine (again)

My sound dissappeared from my PC last night. There seemed to be a dodgy driver set on the Biostar site cos when I installed it, or rather tried to install it, it just wouldn't. At all.

I was left with no sound. Which is a pain cos my main use for the computer is my music!

As a last resort I used System Restore. To Microsoft's credit, it worked. I've had to use it a dozen or so times before now and every once in a while it won't work. This time it did, so I was happy :)

The only problem it caused was that I had to reinstall Zone Alarm as I'd put a new version of that on at the same time as installing the new drivers. It wasn't a big deal cos I could listen to The Ramones while I was doing it!

MaFt

Birds Eye Never Tasted So Good

Well, we had a treat on Saturday. Kia, the fat lazy cat, decided that she was going to show off. Now normally she brings us slugs cos she's too lazy to move fast, but when we got home on Saturday we saw that her lazy days were over. Clearly she has decided to join Fat Fighters and burn off some energy. She'd caught a bird. A real bird. And, not only that, had ripped the poor thing to shreads just to show us how energetic she was. She left it's mangled carcass in the flower bed with feathers and bits of blood everywhere! Great!

Anyway, on Sunday afternoon I fixed two of my three guitars and two broken leads as well. Aren't I clever? Yesterday for Bank Holiday we went shopping and bought a load of clothes cos I was feeling rich.

Thats all for now!

MaFt


Kia's Dinner

Weird

I've been struggling to publish the blog all day long and now it's decided to work! Groovy! Let the blogging continue.

I have a pub-quiz tomorrow afternoon. Organised by work so we get to finish a couple of hours early - should be a laugh!

Ta-ra for now,

MaFt

Telly-Tastic

When I left my job at Leeds Uni they were already pretty short-staffed - even more so after I left. So, you'd think that they would make it a priority to employ a competent person to take my place. I mean, even an incompetent person would do better than what they have replaced me with. What's a months notice for if not to find a replacement?

What have they replaced me with? A bleedin' Plasma Telly for the coffee area. A plasma telly... How is that going to improve moral in the School of Biology Teaching Labs where there are 3 people doing the work of 6?

Fair enough, if it's a nice Sony or a Philips, but knowing them it'll be some crappy Goodmans or something...

We'll see...



MaFt

Classic!

http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-13354964,00.html

Muppets...

Great Planning

Last night we were taken out for a meal for Mrs MaFt's friend's birthday. When our hosts arrived I asked if they'd booked a table or if we were just turning up. The reply was "Well, no one answered the phone, so we're just turning up".

We soon discovered why the phone wasn't answered; that restaraunt was closed on a Monday. Great! So we went somewhere else that was open... 'Twas nice :)

MaFt

THE WAIT IS OVER!!!!

Finally, the wait is over. Episode 3 was bleedin' fantastic! I think it may be the best of all 6 of the Star Wars films. I won't spoil it for anyone who's not seen it yet, but it's definately worth going. I even spotted the Millenium Falcon that Bli managed to miss :0p So yeah, definately worth it!

The newspapers are all bitching that it's available to download already... However, most of them fail to realise that the downloadble version is the workprint copy; i.e. the version with the great big timers on it that gets sent to places like the BBFC so they can say "you need to remove 10 frames from 1hr 21min 8secs 2frames into the film cos it's too rude" etc. So, someone from inside leaked episode 3 in it's entirety, yet the downloaders are to blame... surely it's the relevent company's fault for not having tight enough security...

I also just recorded another song. I did a punk version of a church-worship song called 'I Will Worship' - it sounds cool and I'll post the mp3 as soon as I'm happy with the mix. Me and brother Nat have decided we're going to do a punk worship session for the youth some time this year - should be good.

Right, that's me done for now.

MaFt

PS - still no baby...

Bloody Disgusting Pigs

159mph speeding charge PC cleared

I really can't believe that someone driving at 159mph on a motorway (more than double the speed limit) and over 60mph in a 30 zone has been let off. Why? Because he's a policeman who he was 'honing his skills' and 'wanted to test his new car'. OK, so the guy was trained to drive at high speeds but this wasn't an emergency. He just wanted to play in his new car.

As far as I can see, if he wanted some practice driving at ridiculous speeds he should have asked his employers for appropriate training, not just race around public roads putting peoples lives at risk. Imagine if a big drugs company decided to flaunt all the laws and rules and just wanted to 'test their new drug' on members of the public without proper approval. There'd be an outcry - rules and laws are there to keep people safe. These should be for everyone - police shouldn't be let off with crap excuses...

That really peed me off when I saw it on the news last night! Can ya tell?! Oh, I managed to get tickets for SW3 last night - finally!

MaFt

Tickets Please, PLEASE!!

Many moons ago me and my brother Andy used to ring random 0800 numbers: 1) because we were bored and 2) because they're free. One of the ones we found was some kind of practice 'speach recognition' software - you had to say a number and it then told you "You have selected number 4" or whichever number you said. It was fairly primitive, but this was going back about 12 years or so.

Yesterday evening I discovered that telephonic speach recognition systems are not so primitive, just very annoying and a little bit cocky.

Machine: Welcome to Cineworld... blah blah blah Please say the name of the cinema or town you are interested in
MaFt: Bradford
Machine: Did you say 'Bradford'?
MaFt: Yes
Machine: Welcome to Cineworld at the Leisure Exchange, Bradford.
MaFt: You're welcome
Machine: Oi, I haven't asked you to say anything yet!
MaFt: Sorry
Machine: Did you say 'sorry'?
MaFt: .....
Machine: Please say either 'yes' or 'no'
MaFt: Yes
Machine: OK, shall we continue?
MaFt: Yes
Machine: Please say the name of the film you would like to see.
MaFt: Star Wars
Machine: No, that's not it's full title, please do it in full or I'm not playing.
MaFt: Star Wars Episode 3
Machine: ...and?
MaFt: Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith
Machine: You have selected 'Bambi'. Ha ha, only joking, you have selected 'Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith' rated 12A, contains fantasy adventure and some scary scenes.
Machine: Please say what you would like to do...
MaFt: Book tick...
Machine: Please let me finish, you haven't heard the options yet. The options are: book tickets, hear show times or other oprions.
MaFt: Book tickets, like I started to say before.
Machine: There's no need for that attitude, 'book tickets' might not have been an option, you were just assuming...
MaFt: Yeah, whatever, just book the bloody tickets.
Machine: Sorry
MaFt: Did you say 'sorry'?
Machine: Yes
MaFt: Ooh, how about that for role-reversal, eh?
Machine: Don't get cocky or else I'll put you in a queue.
MaFt: I'm British, I like to queue.
Machine: Fine, please hold while you are transferred to an operator. You are now in a queue, you are queuer number one.
MaFt: Wow, what a queue...
Operator: Hello, Cineworld Bradford.
MaFt: Hi, can I book some tickets please?
Operator: Sorry, our Machine is down and we can't make any bookings.
MaFt: Oh...
Operator: He's sulking. Machine gets like this when people don't treat him very kindly on the phone system. He has these illusions of grandeur where he thinks that because he can recognise speach that he's somehow better than us.
MaFt: I see...
Operator: It's OK, he'll be fine tomorrow, I'm sure.
MaFt: OK, I'll try then.


I tried again today, but I think Machine recognised my voice (well, that is his job afterall) cos the system was still down...

Musical Cancers

Me again, just read on the BBC news website that Kylie has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Not that I'm a massive fan of her work (except in Neighbours) but it sucks when anyone gets cancer.

Matt Freeman (of Rancid), the greatest bass player in the world, has also been diagnosed with lung cancer...

Could be a sad year for music fans.

MaFt

Hello Again!

Ok, so I've not posted for about a week... sorry, I've been busy! There's still no baby and, with only 2 days until '...Sith' comes out, I have a feeling that mini-MaFt might have to wait until it's out on DVD.

So, what have I been up to? Well, there's a new song I recorded on my PureVolume space: Boys of Summer (originally by Don Henley but covered by about 5 million other people). I've changed the temporary cable-fix (from my drilling 'incident' so we can now run the washing machine, dryer and kettle without frying the connectors and I've also been upgraded.

Telewest/Blueyonder decided they would upgrade the measley 256kb broadband, for no extra cost, to a whopping mighty 512kb. Yeah, I know it's not actually that 'whopping' or 'mighty', but it's pretty good for only £17.99 a month with unlimited access.

So there, that's about it! Just thought I should post something so people don't get bored...

MaFt

Stupid Cyclists

"On my way to the beautician this morning I had to call in at the Esso petrol station on Thornton Road to fill up my lovely blue Ford Focus that my darling husband bought me because he is sooooo rich.

Anyway, I had to cross over the other lane of traffic and a cycle lane and this idiot on a bike was actually riding in the cycle lane! I mean, what an idiot! No one uses the cycle lane! So, anyway, I carried on as normal because bikes only go slowly, but the idiot cyclist had to slam on his brakes and swerve and skid out the way of my car. That'll teach him. Well, I'm glad he didn't hit my precious car, that would have really spoiled my day."

Ahem, and now for my point of view...

Stupid cow; there I was minding my own business on my way to work in the cycle lane on Thornton Road when some stupid cow in a blue Ford Focus decided to pull into the petrol station cutting straight in front of me. I was, at that moment, travelling at about 25mph which is slow in a car, but pretty speedy on a push-bike. Luckily my brakes worked and there were no other cars next to me. I slammed all on and had to swerve and skid out the way of the silly bitch's car by moving into the main driving lane. I'm glad I didn't hit her car - I think it would have hurt me more than the car. However, I had the urge to go back and have a go at her in the petrol station. I resisted the urge, but all the way to work I was thinking about what I could have said to her... Stupid cow!

MaFt

Shocking!

Arse cakes! Giant bloody arse cakes! Last night me and Mrs MaFt decided to put up the curtain tie-backs we've had for about 3 years. All nice and simple:

1. remove the old ones
2. drill a couple of holes
3. insert rawlplugs
4. screw
5. tie curtains back

However, at point 2 things went wrong. There's was a loud, crackly bang and a rather bright flash and the burglar alarm went off. Seems that I had gone straight through a mains cable... Shit... Well, at least we still had lights; and the fuse box worked...

Emergency call to big bruvva Tim and after he'd had his soup he called round. He spent about an hour and a bit patching it up so we could get some power back on. On closer inspection we saw that I had gone straight through the very middle of the cable - literally dead-center! I have a couple of photo's that I'll upload over the weekend.

Later we're going to make it into a socket so we only need to replace about 3 feet of cable / wall rather than about 30! At least we'll be able to have a lamp on the window-sill without the cable hanging down for baby MaFt to pull at. You see, something good usually comes out of my cock-ups!

Who'd have thought that there would be 4 mains cables going up next to the window?! Next time I'll use one of those 'hidden wire and pipe' detectors.


Coulda done with one of these...

MaFt

Weather Or Not To Cycle

Forgot to mention earlier that I decided to cycle the 4.5 miles to work this morning as the weather looked OK. With about half a mile left to go it started raining...

Now there's thunder, lightning and rain. I might get the bus home and pick my bike up tomorrow!

MaFt

Don't Touch My Belly, My Achey-Breaky Belly (and arms, legs and back)

Yesterday, because it was sunny and I'd had a beer, we decided to move the 'stones' from in our 'garden' to a more suitable position. By 'garden' I mean the council-owned land behind our house and by 'stones' i mean the two 'big' chunks of stone that make nice seats in the summer. By 'big' I mean about 2-foot x 2-foot x 5-foot.

Dave brought round his wreckers bar (basically a 5-foot crow-bar) and after two hours, two beers and a lot of manly grunting we got the things shifted round to a new position (about 1m away, but at 90-degrees to where they were). The reason for this? Dunno really, seemed like a good idea.

I ache. A lot.

MaFt

Anti-Recomendation (Is That Spelt Right?!)

We've just had the Royal Family round for a bit and to celebrate their visit me and Mrs MaFt laid on a sumptuous banquet: Morrison's Oven Chips and Tesco's Thick Pork Sausages for all.

However, within minutes, old Lizzy commented that "these sausages taste funny". Mine tasted fine, but again "these sausages taste funny". Soon after young William joined in "these sausages taste funny". Mine were OK, Philip tasted some of old Lizzy's sausage (now that's fodder for The Sun) and Philip stated that her "sausage tastes just like mine".

Needless to say that old Lizzy didn't finish her meal and so I had one of her sausages. It did, indeed, "taste funny".

So, there you go, don't bother with the bags of 'approximately 20 thick pork sausages' from Tesco's, cos the Queen says they "taste funny".

MaFt

PS - names have been changed under the Data Protection Act of 1902

Drum-Tastic, Mate!

Ey up! Just a quicky update as I'm still pretty busy. I'm trying the email thing again too, last time I got an auto-reply telling me the email had failed but it still appeared on the blog... Strange!

So, anyway, last night Mrs MaFt was out for a bit so I finally had chance to have a play with my recording studio and the drum-machine software I downloaded to try out. The drum software is great! It's dead easy to use and is pretty cheap at the moment cos the $ to £ rate is either crap or fantastic (I can never work it out properly, but it makes things priced in U.S. dollars nice and cheap for us Brits; so to me it's fantastic!). Have a look here for the software.

Well, I made a drum track (nice and heavy on the floor-tom) and started messing with the settings for the guitar. The finished product (punky version of "Don't Say") will be uploaded and linked to accordingley when it's finished. You might get to hear some work in progress samples too.

That's it for now,

MaFt

Thought I'd Try This Out

I thought I'd give this a go. I'm attempting to make this blog entry by emailing it to the Blogger server thing.

So, anyway, the new job has started and it's so much better than where I was before. I'm actually going to have a challenge and have tasks to carry out. The downside being that I'll have less free-time during work time, but at least I won't get bored.

Well, I'll leave it at that for now in case this emailing thing doesn't work!

MaFt

Dumb Gate Policies

Anyone who ever visits our house always fails to shut the gate and fasten the latch (particularly Mr Postman); as such, it breaks quite often. During the last set of mental winds it broke, almost, in half. Today me and Mrs MaFt went to Wickes to buy some new timber to rebuild it. It was 2m 40cm long and there was no way it would have fit into our car, so I asked if they could cut it in half for us. I was told that they "can not offer a cutting service for health and safety reasons". So I asked if I could borrow a saw to do it myself and was told the same thing.

Now, being a health and safety rep for Unison, I've studied things like this and as far as I can see they're saying they have useless staff. The Health And Safety law that businesses like to quote is very vague and basically says "if you're doing something make sure it's done safely". So Mrs Wickes (not her real name) clearly told me that they "cannot provide a cutting service because our staff are crap and would not be able to do it safely".

We bought the cheapest saw instead and cut the wood in half in the car park. I almost went back in to return the saw stating it was the wrong type to what we needed but felt that would be taking liberties...

The broken gate

The new one (needs staining)

MaFt

Shorts Boy

"He is shorts boy, with his puny legs of hair
Straight off of his paperround to rid us of despair
He is shorts boy, he is too young to work
One day he will be old enough to go and save the world;
He is shorts boy."
- 'Trouser Man' by MaFt

Today is the first day in 2005 that I've put me shorts on. It's cooled down a bit since this morning, but I've had shorts on all day. Summer must be just around the corner!

MaFt

Updates

So, I'm back to the blog again! This is my 3rd of 4 days off work before I start the new job on Monday, and so far I've hardly rested.

Tuesday was spent trying to get in touch with Mrs MaFt's friends for a surprise baby-shower for her as well as ringing round banks to sort various things out. Wednesday I was up early to take delivery of my new Boss BR-8 Digital 8-Track recorder and to wait for the gasman (who came between 8am and 12noon). Then in the evening was the surprise baby shower. I've never seen Mrs MaFt be speechless - though I admit I felt bad for phoning her friends behind her back and not telling her what was happening!

Me and Charlie went for a fantastic curry and now my bottom-wind is a bit smelly and hot - but it was worth it. If you're ever in Bingley go to the Saffron, but hurry cos it might not be there much longer...

Anyway, tonight I'm off to Jongleurs in Leeds for my leaving do (even though I've already left). I'll be knackered by the time I start the new job!


Boss BR-8

MaFt

They Spoilt Me Fun!

Stupid computers at work had no internet access this morning. It's my last day here before I leave and I've had to actually do some work. How unfair is that? Anyway, they've fixed it now so I can bum-around the rest of the afternoon.

See ya!

MaFt

Things To Do On A Boring Lunch Time

Nutritional Information Top-Trumps.

Dead simple game, just like real top-trumps but instead of using 'super powers', 'height' or 'width' you use 'protein', 'fat', 'carbohydrate' etc. Obviously you need to make sure you have different items of food each, or else it will always be a boring draw. To make it more fun, you could play for keepsies! You could also vary it and make it healthy so whoever has the lowest amount of fat will win (however, this backfires if you're playing for keepsies as you would then have lots of fat to eat; particularly if you're playing against someone who brings lard in for lunch).

Have fun with it, and don't get too fat.


Lard: Wins on 'Fat' everytime!

MaFt

Why Do People Still Believe This?!

Taken from http://www.korrnet.org/etvs/

"Nation Awakening to Dangers of Hydroxl Acid. Just as a hitman may have several aliases, this potentially deadly compound is also called dihydrous oxide, dihydrogen monoxide or simply dhmo. Scientists and industrialists have long known of its dangers, but placed a higher value on its importance as a widely used industrial solvent than on the scores of lives it costs directly in this country alone each year, to say nothing of the hundreds of deaths to which it contributes; for example, it decreases the effectiveness of brakes. Dhmo accelerates the corrosion of metal and can cause tissue damage to human skin with prolonged exposure; it is colorless and odorless and can be fatal if inhaled. Learn more about hydroxl acid.
There is no question that hydroxl acid is ubiquitous in our industrialized nation, far less so in some of the middle eastern countries we are even now attempting to Westernize. But for how long? You can find links to both sides of the controversy at dhmo.org. There is an article concerning PeTA's presumably unwitting endorsement of the use of products containing dhmo here. With new public awareness have come calls for action; one city councilman recently called for banning its use in a local factory, depite the potential loss of jobs. This issue points up the importance of focusing the limited energy and resources of the nation's vegetarians on those issues that pose the greatest threat to the nation's health and our own, and to our principles of compassion, and that we arm ourselves with as much information as possible in the process."

---

It's just bloody water! Dihydrogen Monoxide: two hydrogens, one oxygen - H₂O. I even found an online petition here: http://www.petitiononline.com/spots350/petition.html. It really bugs me that people don't actually do any research and instead just jump on the bandwagon.

There are loads of sites about DHMO and quite often you can tell that they are very tongue-in-cheek, but looking through the above mentioned site (the vegetarians one) it is clear that they have taken it very seriously...

Rant over...

MaFt

I'll Shut Me Gob Next Time...

Knowing that today and tomorrow are going to be busy days at work I jokingly said "I'm going to be ill tomorrow and Wednesday". Thing is, this morning I felt incredibly rough - headache, aching joints, bad throat etc etc - but couln't phone in sick cos they would think I was pulling their legs.

However, I came in and have struggled throught the morning, but I'm knackered now. Maybe Sunday's drinking session got the better of me at last. It's tough being 25.

MaFt

New Songs

I've recorded and uploaded 2 new songs onto the main site. They are my newest one (Don't Say) and a re-hashed acoustic version of a song I wrote in Tunnel - I think it was the 3rd song I ever wrote! so it was fun redoing it.

Well, enjoy them, and let me know what you think!

MaFt

Don't Say (mp3)
Every Single Day (mp3)

Death On The Road

It was quite sad this morning; At some time during the night (or possibly early hours of the morning) there was an accident resulting in a death just down the road from my house. I saw the body while I waited for the bus. If I'd have had the resources I would have removed the body and laid it to rest at the side of the road.

I think only the killer will know who did it and I didn't see them hanging around to confess all or even help to move the body. The scary thing that brought it home to me was that it could easily have been my cat. In fact, Kia was just the other day playing with the now-deceased brown/black cat that I shall now on, for ease of typing, refer to as 'DeadCat'. Well, they weren't actually playing, it was more of a staring-out and hissing territorial stand-off. In the cat-courts a cat-judge and panel of peer-cats could easily accuse Kia of being the cause of DeadCat's demise. Perhaps if she had not been so territorial and had let DeadCat just sit on the wall then DeadCat may still be with us today. Alas this is not the case, and my lingering thoughts on cat-judges and cat-courts makes me worry about my sanity. I shall end.


Kia: Not dead

MaFt

Time Waster

I did a Google for 'things to do at work when you're bored' and came up with this site:

http://www.urban75.com/Mag/useless.html

It's great! It's full of pointless games (such as 'DOT-clicking' and 'Chimp Versus President') along with lots of other time wasting things.

If I had a ratings page I would rate this highly, but I don't...

MaFt

Is It OK To Download?!

I forgot to tape the new Dr Who last week so I downloaded a didital recording of it. I did the same again for this weeks episode. Now, the question is, is it wrong to download it? It's already been on TV and I could have recorded it myself to watch at a later date. Or a good analogy is that I got someone to record it for me on Saturday and then they let me have it on Sunday to watch when I got chance. So then, is it wrong that I've downlaoded it? I've paid my TV license so the BBC aren't losing any money from it. Feel free to comment by clicking the 'comment' link below!



MaFt

Rules To Live Life By

I have a new rule for when I'm on the train to/from work. Well, at least for the 23 remaining train journeys to/from work. Here's my rule: if someone has white earphones in then I don't give them right of way. Simple, isn't it?

It bugs me how many people have iPods, when clearly the Creative Zen Xtra's are much better (cheaper, larger capacity, better sound quality etc), and the Zen Touch and Zen Micro are just sexy (yes, that's the official technical description). So there, advert over.



MaFt

PS - in case you missed it the other day: www.blimation.com

Episode IV - A New Link

I got told off yesterday by Bli. You know why? Cos I didn't have a link to his site. so, here you go mate:

www.blimation.com

Bli is an animator turned computer person who's resume includes (but is not limited to): Super Ted, The Raggy Dolls, Spider, Bubba n Stix, Breed etc etc etc. Check out his site for lotsa stuff!

There, I have redeemed myself (just look at the size of that link!!)

MaFt

On The Move

I handed my notice in at work today. It was kinda scary and a bit nerve wracking, but I managed! I'm off to work for Nektar in Bradford. It's much nearer home, get paid more money and erm, what else? er... other things too (I'll leave you thinking!).

So there, that's it for now! Don't forget if you like dance-pop-punk then check out the latest offerings from The Chucky No Stars - they truly do rock! They're on tour at the moment and I'm gonna miss the Bradford date as we're out for a meal. Nevermind, maybe next time!

MaFt

Never Mind The Bollocks

I saw my new favourite poster / advert this morning. I saw it while I was on the bus to work - it was in the window of a pet shop and it's bright pink and yellow colour made it jump out at me. It said simply:

gET yoUr CAt doNE FoR FreE

NeuTERinG

caLL 01274.......


Now, you're probably thinking: "why does MaFt like this poster so much that he made a whole blog entry about it?" Well, I'll tell you. The whole poster was in the style of the Sex Pistols' album "Never Mind The Bollocks" and I just thought that it was so appropriate for an advert that essentially says, "we'll cut off yer cats bollocks for nowt".

I'll try get a photo of it on my phone over the weekend, but for now you can have these two:


A Sex Pistols album



A cat with balls

MaFt

Caramel Corn Flavoured Blisters

I burnt my hand the other night on an oven door. A big, industrial oven door made out of metal for ease of cleaning and ease of burning hands. I have a rather large blister the shape and size of a jelly bean. In fact, after a bit of research, I discovered that if it were a Jelly Belly it would be Caramel Corn flavour.

When it bursts, which it will (I have no doubt about that), I'll let you know if it tastes like it too...

MaFt

Exclusive To The Blog!

Oi oi! I've almost finished a song that I'm almost happy with - just the 2nd verse still needs a bit of doctoring / butchering. I wrote the lyrics just before Christmas when I was fed up of people telling us what we should be doing and basically trying to run our lives for us - I think this comes out quite clearly...

Anyway, here it is (obviously without the music!):

Don't Say - by MaFt

Bored of where I am; unsure of where I'm going,
Can't change my destiny if it even exists.
Told what to do, told what to think about,
Told who to see, can't I choose for myself?

Decisions are made everyday affecting everyone,
Can't they just keep to themselves? Stay away from me.
I'll make my own decision, it's my life.
You'd take away my choice but I won't let you.

We'll be us, you be you; let's keep it that way.
We'll get away one day from your pseudo-control;
You see, you have no say in how we do what we do.
There will come a time when we'll be unique.

Decisions are made everyday affecting everyone,
Can't they just keep to themselves? Stay away from us.
We'll make our own decisions, it's our life.
You'd take away our choice but we won't let you.

We'll be our own entity.
Choose what we want when we want.
Where that might take us, we're still unsure;
We as one, not as you.

Nothing Much...

I don't have anything to write really. I just felt obliged to put something on here. So I am... Maybe if I keep writing the the million monkeys on their million typewriters in my brain will make a master piece. I'll ask them and see what they come up with...

Hang on...

Erm, well, I asked them and this is what they came up with: "Skoirjs nfgoi4a vnorioi, asn ndvs8slfba"

Don't blame me for talking crap, it was the monkey's. Although going by the famous phrase of "Monkey see, monkey do" that must mean that they've seen me talking crap before. Dammit!

MaFt

Search Engine Shenanigans

The Top 10 Search Phrases for http://maft.co.uk during February 2005 were:

1. rory the tiger
2. rory the tiger - so cool
3. chucky no stars
4. big cook little cook
5. chris higgin
6. weebl and bob
7. leeds met gigs
8. leeds met uni gigs
9. offspring americana bootleg
10. ebay

Every single one of those has some kind of musical link! I am guessing that the Rory The Tiger references are from the list of cd's that I own (oh, come on; how many of you can say you never bought a crap CD from Haven Holidays?); The Chucky No Stars are a very fine musical band; Big Cook Little Cook quite often make songs while they cook (I think I mentioned them on my old 'A New Thing' blog); Chris Higgin does back-up vocals for The Offspring (I have no idea where this link came from!); Weebl and Bob have music in their animations, and Weebl was the inventor of the insanely catchy badgerbadgerbadger.com site/song; Leeds Met (Uni) Gigs are clearly concert/music type searches; Offspring Americana Bootleg is, again, about The Offspring; and, finally, eBay sells music.

It fascinates me, every month, to read how people arrived at my site. Strangely enough, only 1 person since last October has got to the site by searching for 'MaFt'...

Utter Gayness

Cheeky git Leon made this:


It's me and Dave The Nut (The Toy Dolls / Jalapeno Drums) in a rather sticky situation... I assure you, however, that it is NOT real, it has been doctored on a computer. ANyone who says otherwise is a liar...

Nothing else caught my attention today.

MaFt

The Great Cheese Debate

Yorkshire Feta cheese. Should it exist? Should Greece be given a monopoly over it's production? Should you give a s**t?! For those of you who have been asleep for the last few years and have not heard about this sEUd (stupid European Union demand [it's a new phrase that I just made up]) then have a read of this: [link]

If you couldn't be bothered reading it, then I'll paraphrase for you. Basically, the EU has decided to try to make it illegal to make Feta cheese outside Greece (even though the term 'Feta' refers to the style of cheese made around the Mediteranean and not specifically Greece). There is a company in Yorkshire called Shepherds Purse who have been making Yorkshire Feta since 1987 and should the sEUd be fulfilled they will have to stop making it. It really is pathetic and should it happen I will start a (one man) campaign to make it illegal to make Yorkshire Puddings outside of Yorkshire - I'm sure Shepherds Purse will back me up.

Feta Cheese

Yorkshire Pudding

MaFt

Question

When my niece Caitlin was a baby, was she a Caitling?


Brother Andy and Caitlin(g)

MaFt