New Songs!

Happy CHristmas n all that! Hope you had a good 'un. Hadsome timethis morning to get some new songs sorted - head on over to the main site to hear a new punk worship song and a cover of Cheap Trick's 'Surrender'.

Enjoy!

MaFt

Break time

Seeing as it's christmas i thought i'd have a break from blogging! i may pop in a couple of times but we're gonna be pretty busy! so, have a good un and i'll catch up int' new year! MaFt

There Are Only 26 Letters In The Alphabet

Galileo, Europe's Sat Nav, Satellite Launched

There are going to be 30 satellites used in the Galileo System. They decided to call them Galileo-A, Galileo-B etc - does anyone else see the problem with this?!

MaFt

Inventions

Here's a list of things I plan to invent in order to winthe coveted, and somewhat imaginary, 'Things That Should Never Have Been Invented Due To Obvious Design Flaws And Occasional Bad Understanding Of The Laws Of Physics' award:

• The Solar Powered Torch: An amazing feat to produce perpetual light. Although the laws of physics say it is impossible, it could still work - simply charge it up with some natural sunlight and the zero-resistance of all the components (made of previously invented 'super-mega conductors') will illuminate the zero-resistance bulb. Once lit, a carefully arranged set of super-shiny mirrors will guide the light beam back to the solar panel to keep the torch charged. This means that not only do you no longer require batteries, but you will never run out of light again!
• The Underwater Ironing Board: Ever been so short for time that you couldn't decide between doing the ironing or going swimming? Well, now you can do both. Many local swimming pools have already signed-up to get one or more installed permanently to the floor of their pool. An ingenious and patented 'Bubble' (water-proof pouch) means that the garment you are ironing will stay dry. MaFt Enterprises accepts no responsibility for garments damaged by water & chlorine whilst transferring them through the pool into the pouch.
• The Ultimate Spam-Guard: A very easy one this, it blocks every incoming email.You can send emails but never receive them. Great for offending people without any comeback. Guaranteed to stop 100% of spam.

There maybe more tomorrow!

MaFt The Inventor

That Was Quick!

Date: Tue, 20 Dec 2005 15:52:00 -0000 [15:52:00 GMT]
From: Landmark Info United Kingdom
To: Matthew Morley
Subject: Re: STOP FREAKIN' PHONING ME

Dear Mr Morley,

We have removed mobile number 07********* from our automatic dialer as requested.

Regards, Landmark customer services

Landmark Communications

Having got pissed off with receiving 5 calls in the last week from Landmark Communications (01554754901, 16-18 Cowell Street, Llanelli, [the operator didn't know the post code]) I decided to send them this email:

*****
Date: Tue, 20 Dec 2005 15:45:29 +0000 [15:45:29 GMT]
From: MaFt United Kingdom
To: info@landmarkmobile.co.uk
Subject: STOP FREAKIN' PHONING ME

i am sick of being phoned by your company. i do not want another mobile phone contract. if i did i would go somewhere that a) i have heard of, and b) that
didn't keep bloody phoning me while i'm at work!

you have been reported to the TPS even though you claim "it doesn't matter
because we use random numbers" - however it is still an nuisance and unwanted call.

my number is 07*********. if i get another call from you then you can expect to
receive a lot of insults and possibly some expletives. you have been warned.

Matthew Morley

--
http://maft.co.uk

*****

I wonder if I'll get a response?

MaFt

PS - this isn't why I was annoyed yesterday!

Arse Cakes

Massive, pissing great arse cakes. That's how I feel today, how about you?



MaFt

Today I Will Be Mostly...

...drinking beer :D

9am - start work
9am - meeting
10.30am - kill time
11am meet for wine & mince pies and the results of the photo competition
12noon - taxi'd to the Bossa Nova in Shipley
1pm - Christmas meal
3pm - Pubs
6pm - break off for 2 hours for the dress rehearsal of Church Christmas Production
8pm - Pubs
1am - Stagger home...

Enjoy your day, I know I will!

MaFt

My First Legal Music Download / Purchase

WooHoo! I just downloaded my first piece of legally purchased digital music! I got Vanilla Pod's 'Surrounded By Idiots' from this site. £7.99 for the full album in mp3 format ready to burn to a legal CD :). Seems like a good idea to me, I've always been put off in the past from legal downloads cos most sites usually have just chart music for download and not much of the stuff I'm into. So yeah, oretty chuffed with it now :D

Ta-Ra

MaFt

This Will Probably Be Random

OK, so I lied the other day when I said there'd be a big post to make up for a shortage this week! Well, today I really am going to make up for it! Ya see, I'm just going to type completely random thoughts for a while. To avoid thinking too much I'm not going to check over it so apologies in advance for any glaring spelling mistakes...

I really don't have anything to write about that I can think of, nothing of interest at least. So, here goes, switch off normal thoughts and let the babbling begin:

I found today a new site for legal downloads of decent music. So instead of having to filter through a load of dance and R&B to get to some half-decent radio-friendly rock/punk/ska/metal I can now get the proper stuff from Punk Metal Downloads - there's lots of great UK bands on their too, stuff like Captain Everything, Vanilla Pod, Capdown, The Maple State, The Filaments etc. All good stuff! If only it'll let me buy the Vanilla Pod album I wanted... For some reason it won't let me add money to the account I opened with SecureAccount.net. Damn technology, making me get excited for nothing. Imagin a shop doing that - getting to the till, you give them your card, they swipe it etc etc then they say "Sorry, you can't have it now - computer says 'no'". Thinking about it, that happened once...

It was at Sainsbury's in Lancaster, it was near the end of term so the student loan and overdrafts were almost empty. However, I knew I had about £20 in my account so I made sure I only spent about £10. Got to the till and they put the card through and the 'Till Operator' just sat there. I had a sense of impending doom and asked him what was happening. He replied along the lines of "it's just taking a while to go through, try not to worry". He then pressed the button to call the manager so I asked him what was wrong. He sat there, blank, as though we'd known each other for years and I'd just shat on him completely out of the blue...

The manager came along and the 'Till Operator' explained to the manager in some kind of gibberish code ("Code 50 to the fire sir, ten-hut") - the manager then turned to me and explained that "there's not enough money in your account for this purchase". "Bollocks" I thought, it's not even a tenner! At this point I was a bit (well, very) embarrassed as the queue of adult shoppers was building up mocking this poor, scruffy student for not having enough to buy £9.64 of groceries... Thankfully my mate, Scru', was there to bail me out and he paid it for me. He's from Knutsford, they're posh there and so had more money in his account. Either that or he didn't buy as many CD's as me...

So, anyway, after the whole embarrasing thing I went outside to the cash amchine to check my balance - I had £9.43... You'd have thought the bank would have let me go 21p over my overdraft wouldn't you?! Robbing sods...

Well, that'll do for now! See, It wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be actually!

See ya

MaFt

This Isn't Goodbye, This Is I Can't Stand You

Mark and Travis (ex-Blink 182)'s new band, +44, have a song on their site at http://www.plusfortyfour.com - sounds pretty good. A bit like a blink b-side, but it should be good! Just a short advert today, nothing else. I promise there'll bea wonderful post tomorrow though.

MaFt

The Old Ones Are The Funny Ones!

Just been to guildford to see me grandma so she could see mini-MaFt. while we were in the care home brother-a sent a text to dad saying 'say hello to grandma'. dad passed on the message and she looked at me and pointed, then asked my dad 'well, who's that then?'. bless her! we took a few photo's too and some of the old biddies started saying how there must be a storm coming because of all the lightning! just to wind them up mrs-MaFt carried on taking photo's with the flash on... old people make me laugh! MaFt

Spam Up!

I see that Spam has been ressurected again but I feel that Monty Python had a better advertising plan than just saying 'Spam Up' - repetition of the word 'Spam' was much more effective!

So, anyway, I changed the settings on my email server to automatically delete my spam emails. Previously I received the email with a big list of reasons why Spam Assassin had labelled it as spam. You get to give it a numerical value that it marks as spam - i.e. if you have it set at 4.5 then it needs to receive 4.5 points to be labelled as spam. As most crap emails that I got were over 6 pointsi decided to set it to 6.1 and to automatically delete the annoying emails. It's great! I now only get on average 2 or 3 spam emails per week as opposed to 10-15 per day.

No more will I be plagued with offers to cure my impotence with cialis or viagra, to pay off my entire debt with no need to send any money, to get cheap pharma goods from china, to see butt-naked ladies doing unnatural things with dogs... There is one downside though, the various dead ministers/kings/pharoahs/jugglers of Africa will not be able to get in touch with me to let me know I've inherited their life-savings and that only I can help by providing them with a UK bank account. I think I can live with that though.

MaFt

Return Of The MaFti

OK, so I'm back at work now so no more mobile-blogging! Damn, that was a nightmare typing all that in predictive text...

So, what have a ya missed? Quite a few things actually! Mini-MaFt deciding he didn't want to sleep anymore and completely knackering me and Mrs-MaFt out every night. I've also been doing boring other things that just won't be of any interest to this blog; things such as: tidying, putting up Christmas decorations (no tree yet though), sorting through boxes of junk, learning the words for Uncle Yule (for the church Christmas presentation), trying to source a zimmer-frame for Uncle Yule, listening to radio-friendly pop-rock bands, eating Lemsip (it's one of those things I wouldn't recommend) and trying to author DVD's from a years worth of camcorder footage!

Speaking of Christmas trees, I wonder what the first purveyors of finest Christmas trees did for a living while their initial stock was growing? I'm guessing there would have had to have been at least 20 or 30 years until they had something even slightly saleable?

Right, I'm off to do some work for a bit!

MaFt

Carpets (again)

We got a new carpet fitted today in the lounge. we seemed to have picked a decent company this time as well! that's all for home improvements for now though! i might have a bit of time for sorting out holiday videos and burning DVD's from them. being a dad's dead tiring, does anyone want to borrow mini-MaFt for a week or three? you could use him to get money from ex-boyfriends by saying he's their son. all i ask is for a cut of 40% but if the taxman catches up it's nothing to do with me, and you could face a prison sentence for both fraud and child theft. like i say, it would all be your idea, and remember i can easily delete this blog entry... MaFt