We've just had the Royal Family round for a bit and to celebrate their visit me and Mrs MaFt laid on a sumptuous banquet: Morrison's Oven Chips and Tesco's Thick Pork Sausages for all.
However, within minutes, old Lizzy commented that "these sausages taste funny". Mine tasted fine, but again "these sausages taste funny". Soon after young William joined in "these sausages taste funny". Mine were OK, Philip tasted some of old Lizzy's sausage (now that's fodder for The Sun) and Philip stated that her "sausage tastes just like mine".
Needless to say that old Lizzy didn't finish her meal and so I had one of her sausages. It did, indeed, "taste funny".
So, there you go, don't bother with the bags of 'approximately 20 thick pork sausages' from Tesco's, cos the Queen says they "taste funny".
MaFt
PS - names have been changed under the Data Protection Act of 1902
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Friday, April 29, 2005
Drum-Tastic, Mate!
Ey up! Just a quicky update as I'm still pretty busy. I'm trying the email thing again too, last time I got an auto-reply telling me the email had failed but it still appeared on the blog... Strange!
So, anyway, last night Mrs MaFt was out for a bit so I finally had chance to have a play with my recording studio and the drum-machine software I downloaded to try out. The drum software is great! It's dead easy to use and is pretty cheap at the moment cos the $ to £ rate is either crap or fantastic (I can never work it out properly, but it makes things priced in U.S. dollars nice and cheap for us Brits; so to me it's fantastic!). Have a look here for the software.
Well, I made a drum track (nice and heavy on the floor-tom) and started messing with the settings for the guitar. The finished product (punky version of "Don't Say") will be uploaded and linked to accordingley when it's finished. You might get to hear some work in progress samples too.
That's it for now,
MaFt
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Thought I'd Try This Out
I thought I'd give this a go. I'm attempting to make this blog entry by emailing it to the Blogger server thing.
So, anyway, the new job has started and it's so much better than where I was before. I'm actually going to have a challenge and have tasks to carry out. The downside being that I'll have less free-time during work time, but at least I won't get bored.
Well, I'll leave it at that for now in case this emailing thing doesn't work!
MaFt
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Dumb Gate Policies
Anyone who ever visits our house always fails to shut the gate and fasten the latch (particularly Mr Postman); as such, it breaks quite often. During the last set of mental winds it broke, almost, in half. Today me and Mrs MaFt went to Wickes to buy some new timber to rebuild it. It was 2m 40cm long and there was no way it would have fit into our car, so I asked if they could cut it in half for us. I was told that they "can not offer a cutting service for health and safety reasons". So I asked if I could borrow a saw to do it myself and was told the same thing.
Now, being a health and safety rep for Unison, I've studied things like this and as far as I can see they're saying they have useless staff. The Health And Safety law that businesses like to quote is very vague and basically says "if you're doing something make sure it's done safely". So Mrs Wickes (not her real name) clearly told me that they "cannot provide a cutting service because our staff are crap and would not be able to do it safely".
We bought the cheapest saw instead and cut the wood in half in the car park. I almost went back in to return the saw stating it was the wrong type to what we needed but felt that would be taking liberties...
MaFt
Now, being a health and safety rep for Unison, I've studied things like this and as far as I can see they're saying they have useless staff. The Health And Safety law that businesses like to quote is very vague and basically says "if you're doing something make sure it's done safely". So Mrs Wickes (not her real name) clearly told me that they "cannot provide a cutting service because our staff are crap and would not be able to do it safely".
We bought the cheapest saw instead and cut the wood in half in the car park. I almost went back in to return the saw stating it was the wrong type to what we needed but felt that would be taking liberties...
|  The new one (needs staining) |
MaFt
Friday, April 22, 2005
Shorts Boy
"He is shorts boy, with his puny legs of hair
Straight off of his paperround to rid us of despair
He is shorts boy, he is too young to work
One day he will be old enough to go and save the world;
He is shorts boy."
- 'Trouser Man' by MaFt
Today is the first day in 2005 that I've put me shorts on. It's cooled down a bit since this morning, but I've had shorts on all day. Summer must be just around the corner!
MaFt
Straight off of his paperround to rid us of despair
He is shorts boy, he is too young to work
One day he will be old enough to go and save the world;
He is shorts boy."
- 'Trouser Man' by MaFt
Today is the first day in 2005 that I've put me shorts on. It's cooled down a bit since this morning, but I've had shorts on all day. Summer must be just around the corner!
MaFt
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Updates
So, I'm back to the blog again! This is my 3rd of 4 days off work before I start the new job on Monday, and so far I've hardly rested.
Tuesday was spent trying to get in touch with Mrs MaFt's friends for a surprise baby-shower for her as well as ringing round banks to sort various things out. Wednesday I was up early to take delivery of my new Boss BR-8 Digital 8-Track recorder and to wait for the gasman (who came between 8am and 12noon). Then in the evening was the surprise baby shower. I've never seen Mrs MaFt be speechless - though I admit I felt bad for phoning her friends behind her back and not telling her what was happening!
Me and Charlie went for a fantastic curry and now my bottom-wind is a bit smelly and hot - but it was worth it. If you're ever in Bingley go to the Saffron, but hurry cos it might not be there much longer...
Anyway, tonight I'm off to Jongleurs in Leeds for my leaving do (even though I've already left). I'll be knackered by the time I start the new job!
Boss BR-8
MaFt
Tuesday was spent trying to get in touch with Mrs MaFt's friends for a surprise baby-shower for her as well as ringing round banks to sort various things out. Wednesday I was up early to take delivery of my new Boss BR-8 Digital 8-Track recorder and to wait for the gasman (who came between 8am and 12noon). Then in the evening was the surprise baby shower. I've never seen Mrs MaFt be speechless - though I admit I felt bad for phoning her friends behind her back and not telling her what was happening!
Me and Charlie went for a fantastic curry and now my bottom-wind is a bit smelly and hot - but it was worth it. If you're ever in Bingley go to the Saffron, but hurry cos it might not be there much longer...
Anyway, tonight I'm off to Jongleurs in Leeds for my leaving do (even though I've already left). I'll be knackered by the time I start the new job!
Boss BR-8
MaFt
Monday, April 18, 2005
They Spoilt Me Fun!
Stupid computers at work had no internet access this morning. It's my last day here before I leave and I've had to actually do some work. How unfair is that? Anyway, they've fixed it now so I can bum-around the rest of the afternoon.
See ya!
MaFt
See ya!
MaFt
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Things To Do On A Boring Lunch Time
Nutritional Information Top-Trumps.
Dead simple game, just like real top-trumps but instead of using 'super powers', 'height' or 'width' you use 'protein', 'fat', 'carbohydrate' etc. Obviously you need to make sure you have different items of food each, or else it will always be a boring draw. To make it more fun, you could play for keepsies! You could also vary it and make it healthy so whoever has the lowest amount of fat will win (however, this backfires if you're playing for keepsies as you would then have lots of fat to eat; particularly if you're playing against someone who brings lard in for lunch).
Have fun with it, and don't get too fat.
Lard: Wins on 'Fat' everytime!
MaFt
Dead simple game, just like real top-trumps but instead of using 'super powers', 'height' or 'width' you use 'protein', 'fat', 'carbohydrate' etc. Obviously you need to make sure you have different items of food each, or else it will always be a boring draw. To make it more fun, you could play for keepsies! You could also vary it and make it healthy so whoever has the lowest amount of fat will win (however, this backfires if you're playing for keepsies as you would then have lots of fat to eat; particularly if you're playing against someone who brings lard in for lunch).
Have fun with it, and don't get too fat.
Lard: Wins on 'Fat' everytime!
MaFt
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Why Do People Still Believe This?!
Taken from http://www.korrnet.org/etvs/
"Nation Awakening to Dangers of Hydroxl Acid. Just as a hitman may have several aliases, this potentially deadly compound is also called dihydrous oxide, dihydrogen monoxide or simply dhmo. Scientists and industrialists have long known of its dangers, but placed a higher value on its importance as a widely used industrial solvent than on the scores of lives it costs directly in this country alone each year, to say nothing of the hundreds of deaths to which it contributes; for example, it decreases the effectiveness of brakes. Dhmo accelerates the corrosion of metal and can cause tissue damage to human skin with prolonged exposure; it is colorless and odorless and can be fatal if inhaled. Learn more about hydroxl acid.
There is no question that hydroxl acid is ubiquitous in our industrialized nation, far less so in some of the middle eastern countries we are even now attempting to Westernize. But for how long? You can find links to both sides of the controversy at dhmo.org. There is an article concerning PeTA's presumably unwitting endorsement of the use of products containing dhmo here. With new public awareness have come calls for action; one city councilman recently called for banning its use in a local factory, depite the potential loss of jobs. This issue points up the importance of focusing the limited energy and resources of the nation's vegetarians on those issues that pose the greatest threat to the nation's health and our own, and to our principles of compassion, and that we arm ourselves with as much information as possible in the process."
It's just bloody water! Dihydrogen Monoxide: two hydrogens, one oxygen - H2O. I even found an online petition here: http://www.petitiononline.com/spots350/petition.html. It really bugs me that people don't actually do any research and instead just jump on the bandwagon.
There are loads of sites about DHMO and quite often you can tell that they are very tongue-in-cheek, but looking through the above mentioned site (the vegetarians one) it is clear that they have taken it very seriously...
Rant over...
MaFt
"Nation Awakening to Dangers of Hydroxl Acid. Just as a hitman may have several aliases, this potentially deadly compound is also called dihydrous oxide, dihydrogen monoxide or simply dhmo. Scientists and industrialists have long known of its dangers, but placed a higher value on its importance as a widely used industrial solvent than on the scores of lives it costs directly in this country alone each year, to say nothing of the hundreds of deaths to which it contributes; for example, it decreases the effectiveness of brakes. Dhmo accelerates the corrosion of metal and can cause tissue damage to human skin with prolonged exposure; it is colorless and odorless and can be fatal if inhaled. Learn more about hydroxl acid.
There is no question that hydroxl acid is ubiquitous in our industrialized nation, far less so in some of the middle eastern countries we are even now attempting to Westernize. But for how long? You can find links to both sides of the controversy at dhmo.org. There is an article concerning PeTA's presumably unwitting endorsement of the use of products containing dhmo here. With new public awareness have come calls for action; one city councilman recently called for banning its use in a local factory, depite the potential loss of jobs. This issue points up the importance of focusing the limited energy and resources of the nation's vegetarians on those issues that pose the greatest threat to the nation's health and our own, and to our principles of compassion, and that we arm ourselves with as much information as possible in the process."
It's just bloody water! Dihydrogen Monoxide: two hydrogens, one oxygen - H2O. I even found an online petition here: http://www.petitiononline.com/spots350/petition.html. It really bugs me that people don't actually do any research and instead just jump on the bandwagon.
There are loads of sites about DHMO and quite often you can tell that they are very tongue-in-cheek, but looking through the above mentioned site (the vegetarians one) it is clear that they have taken it very seriously...
Rant over...
MaFt
I'll Shut Me Gob Next Time...
Knowing that today and tomorrow are going to be busy days at work I jokingly said "I'm going to be ill tomorrow and Wednesday". Thing is, this morning I felt incredibly rough - headache, aching joints, bad throat etc etc - but couln't phone in sick cos they would think I was pulling their legs.
However, I came in and have struggled throught the morning, but I'm knackered now. Maybe Sunday's drinking session got the better of me at last. It's tough being 25.
MaFt
However, I came in and have struggled throught the morning, but I'm knackered now. Maybe Sunday's drinking session got the better of me at last. It's tough being 25.
MaFt
Saturday, April 09, 2005
New Songs
I've recorded and uploaded 2 new songs onto the main site. They are my newest one (Don't Say) and a re-hashed acoustic version of a song I wrote in Tunnel - I think it was the 3rd song I ever wrote! so it was fun redoing it.
Well, enjoy them, and let me know what you think!
MaFt
Don't Say (mp3)
Every Single Day (mp3)
Well, enjoy them, and let me know what you think!
MaFt
Don't Say (mp3)
Every Single Day (mp3)
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Death On The Road
It was quite sad this morning; At some time during the night (or possibly early hours of the morning) there was an accident resulting in a death just down the road from my house. I saw the body while I waited for the bus. If I'd have had the resources I would have removed the body and laid it to rest at the side of the road.
I think only the killer will know who did it and I didn't see them hanging around to confess all or even help to move the body. The scary thing that brought it home to me was that it could easily have been my cat. In fact, Kia was just the other day playing with the now-deceased brown/black cat that I shall now on, for ease of typing, refer to as 'DeadCat'. Well, they weren't actually playing, it was more of a staring-out and hissing territorial stand-off. In the cat-courts a cat-judge and panel of peer-cats could easily accuse Kia of being the cause of DeadCat's demise. Perhaps if she had not been so territorial and had let DeadCat just sit on the wall then DeadCat may still be with us today. Alas this is not the case, and my lingering thoughts on cat-judges and cat-courts makes me worry about my sanity. I shall end.
Kia: Not dead
MaFt
I think only the killer will know who did it and I didn't see them hanging around to confess all or even help to move the body. The scary thing that brought it home to me was that it could easily have been my cat. In fact, Kia was just the other day playing with the now-deceased brown/black cat that I shall now on, for ease of typing, refer to as 'DeadCat'. Well, they weren't actually playing, it was more of a staring-out and hissing territorial stand-off. In the cat-courts a cat-judge and panel of peer-cats could easily accuse Kia of being the cause of DeadCat's demise. Perhaps if she had not been so territorial and had let DeadCat just sit on the wall then DeadCat may still be with us today. Alas this is not the case, and my lingering thoughts on cat-judges and cat-courts makes me worry about my sanity. I shall end.
Kia: Not dead
MaFt
Monday, April 04, 2005
Time Waster
I did a Google for 'things to do at work when you're bored' and came up with this site:
http://www.urban75.com/Mag/useless.html
It's great! It's full of pointless games (such as 'DOT-clicking' and 'Chimp Versus President') along with lots of other time wasting things.
If I had a ratings page I would rate this highly, but I don't...
MaFt
http://www.urban75.com/Mag/useless.html
It's great! It's full of pointless games (such as 'DOT-clicking' and 'Chimp Versus President') along with lots of other time wasting things.
If I had a ratings page I would rate this highly, but I don't...
MaFt
Is It OK To Download?!
I forgot to tape the new Dr Who last week so I downloaded a didital recording of it. I did the same again for this weeks episode. Now, the question is, is it wrong to download it? It's already been on TV and I could have recorded it myself to watch at a later date. Or a good analogy is that I got someone to record it for me on Saturday and then they let me have it on Sunday to watch when I got chance. So then, is it wrong that I've downlaoded it? I've paid my TV license so the BBC aren't losing any money from it. Feel free to comment by clicking the 'comment' link below!
MaFt
MaFt
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